"Hey Luke. Look at that man. He's like a statue." Michael exclaimed. Michael always said what was on his mind so it didn't bother me until I noticed the man heard him.
"You should apologize." I told him. We walked towards the man looking as nice as we could but something about him made me feel uncomfortable.
"Sorry about that." Says Michael apologetically.
"It's all right." Says the man smiling.
Suddenly he looked straight into my eyes and in an instant, the man turned Michael and I into statues. Now, I have to stay standing for the rest of my life.
I think troublemaker is one word. I'm not sure. I think you can put a period after "Look at that man" or an exclaimation point. I think the ending is a little rushed, and your story switches between past and present tense a lot. You might want to fix that.
ReplyDeleteIn your first sentence "I would always be told to use my manners" but you don't need the word "be" in it for it is not needed. But over all I like your story!
ReplyDelete