Cupcake Mountain
Dan and Phil, climbed out of the toy box they lived in and went to get cinnamon sticks, for their mother to bake with, on Cupcake Mountain.
“ Be careful and don't get eaten.” Their mother told them.
They walked to the kitchen and found the mountain. They climbed for hours and survived cinnamon storms and marshmallow avalanches.
“ We can finally rest but don’t forget the cinnamon." Phil said.
“ Phil, look!” Dan yelled. Standing in front of them was a young girl ready to eat. They quickly took the cinnamon and slid down the mountain, escaping the girl.
I think yours is really good and I have nothing to tell you to change.
ReplyDeletewhy do they want to get cinnamon sticks? I also really like how in the beginning you say that they live in a toy box, that shows setting description.
ReplyDeleteyours is very good and I wouldn't change anything.
ReplyDeleteI like the descriptive line "They climbed for hours and survived cinnamon storms and marshmallow avalanches." This line allows me to create a picture in my head and the word choice is excellent. I wonder how you can had the same type of descriptive details to the beginning and ending.
ReplyDelete