Waves
When my dad told me and my brother, Ashton, not to go swimming while he got gas, I knew that the rule would most likely be broken. We got bored so I put on some music and Ashton transformed into a dancer. Soon after, we got bored again.
"Ashton go put your green floaties on, we're going swimming." I commanded.
"But dad said no." He said.
"Then I'll go by myself." I said.
He ran to search for his floaties. After he finds them, we run towards the pool then I fell and hit my head.Then I thought, always listen to your parents.
I love your story! Your missing an capital D when Ashton says, "But dad said no." Other than great story.
ReplyDeleteGreat job on your punctuation. I can tell you put in the effort and made sure you checked it over. You do change your tense in the story starting with past tense and then switching to present tense at the end. Can you think of other words to use instead of "said". You do a great job with your opening sentence and wrapping it up with your concluding sentence. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI like the way your story flows Stitch! I can also tell you checked over it and made sure you have the right punctuation! After awhile when the char extents are talking you dorm need to keep on saying he said she said, but otherwise, I lived your story!
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