Bird's Nest
My co-worker had explained his plan to put out a fire and I agreed and tried not to look terrified. The apartment belonged to a woman and her baby.We hurried to the flames and pulled the roof off so water could come in, while the head firefighter carries the mother and baby back down to the asphalt ground. Suddenly my wings got stuck in a bird's nest and two birds came attacking me. They won and I came home with twigs stabbing me.
"Well at least no one died on my first day." I say laughing.
I like your story and it feels like I am in the story when I read it , although there is some punctuation missing in varios places throuout your story. Other than that I think your well on your way to the showcase.
ReplyDeleteYour story was VERY discriptive! But I do think you could add more detail when you said that you were pulling off the roof. Also you did miss some punctuation. Look over your story!
ReplyDeleteI think your story is very well done. You need to remember some punctuation. Also, I think you shouldn't start your story with dialogue. Great story though!
ReplyDeleteA creative way to tell the story through the fireman's perspective. Careful you have some run-on sentences. To add more interest to your story or grab the readers attention from the beginning it would help by having some more dialogue. I like the twist about getting caught up in a birds nest. Would the fireman really be laughing about no one dying or is he hiding his emotions?
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